EylaRay

Though some of my stories involve my mother, The Narcissist Drunk, its important for me to point out a few things…

One…I still speak to her, quite frequently these days.  I do so because I don’t want to live one moment feeling regret.  I don’t want to avoid her entirely, until she’s gone, then wonder what I missed.

Two…My mother isn’t one-hundred percent awful.  Yes, she terrorized me through childhood.  Of course to this day she can turn any situation rotten.  However, there are moments when she’s really funny and times when, just for second, she’s sincere.  The rest of her nonsense, I surrendered long ago.

Three…She still does and says things that astound me, until I remember she’s a narcissist.  Understanding her narcissism makes listening to her drone on about how great she is tolerable, even humorous 🙂

She spent nearly an hour the other day telling me what a wonderful wife she had been to both of her husbands.  How she cooked, and cleaned, and took care of them.  “…I was perfect! They had it so good, and what did they do?  Just fucked it up, and acted like assholes!”  

She literally has no idea what she’s saying…

Though I have reasons Why I Married Young, I realize by today’s standards (or even yesterday’s) that nineteen is incredibly early to go tying the knot.  Even now, I’m surprised it all worked out so well and my husband and I are happy and still in love.  Well…not that surprised 😉  Our marriage has been a lot (a whole lot) of mistakes, followed by learning, with back-breaking effort at times!  Our morning communications (or how we learned not to communicate in the wee hours) is the first example of our education in coexistence…

While I am the happy-bouncy-great to see you type morning person-my husband is not.  He’s the kind of cranky-I’d rather have my eyelids removed-than speak to you type morning person…The Man of My Dreams must absolutely have a full cup of coffee before he becomes the fantastic guy he really is!  Though I wake and as soon as my feet hit the floor, I’m filled with hope and joy for the brand new day, I learned very early in our marriage not to lambaste my husband with all my fresh thoughts and feelings until he’s fully alert.  Our very first argument started (and finished) in a single morning.

It was still dark outside as I scuttled about the kitchen, and for some reason my husband had been reading the ingredients of a can of cat food.  He says “I wonder why they put onion salt in this?”  I know my face looked more condescending than it should have as I replied “For flavor?”.  Those may have been the words, but I might as well have said “You’re an idiot“, because he snapped at me so loud and long, that I was surprised (and a little scared).  He kept going about how he knew it was flavoring and he wasn’t really asking and on and on…at which point I finished powdering my face and slung the makeup compact right at him!

But, we still had to drive to work (in the same tiny, crappy car)…the silence lasted about halfway along…and then the giggling began.  First him, then me.  We had just had our first blow up fight about cat food!  Though we had plenty more spats and serious arguments afterward, we understood at that moment-there are things worth arguing about…and then there’s onion salt.